What is positive discipline?
Have you ever watched a friend parent their child, been given advice from your own parent, or even had your pediatrician tell you something and thought, “nope, that’s not the way I want to parent”. Sometimes what we see other parents do, suggestions from our own parents or friends, or even from health care professionals just don’t feel quite right to us. That is often what leads people to positive discipline. They are looking for a better way to parent that keeps connection with your child AND is backed by neuroscience, psychologists, and many studies on parenting. Positive Parenting can help you build a closer, more supportive, and fulfilling relationship with your child while also parenting in a firm KIND way. I know a marriage and family therapist who says the tools are like magic and I agree! Plus the long term benefits of raising an encouraged capable child who feels like they matter is priceless.
Positive Discipline is focused on coaching and teaching children. Discipline comes from Latin disciplina which mean “instruction given, teaching, learning, knowledge”. The goal of discipline is not to punish to correct, it is to coach and teach your child what you DO want.
I want to show you how to help them feel empowered while reducing power struggles between child and parent. The hope is to encourage children and teach them important life and social skills that will lead to life long success. This does not mean you are a permissive parent who gets walked all over! Positive Discipline encourages boundaries but holding them in a kind way with empathy.
Positive Discipline is based on Alderian psychology and based on a model developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen. Designed to teach children to be resourceful, empowered, respectful members of their families and communities through connection and empowerment instead of punishment.
What are some of the key principles of Positive Discipline?
Focus on Positive Behavior:
Positive Parenting emphasizes the importance of focusing on positive behavior, rather than negative behavior. This means encouraging your child for their efforts and accomplishments, rather than criticizing or punishing them for their mistakes. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and we ALL, big and small, make mistakes. We want to encourage children to develop positive habits and behaviors and develop life skills. In workshops and sessions we go over why this is so amazing and the contrast between traditional parenting.
Build Strong Relationships:
Building a strong and supportive connection with your child is a huge aspect of Positive Parenting. A lifelong positive relationship with their children is something many parents want and positive discipline is a great road map there. This involves building trust and open communication, spending quality time together, encouraging life skills, developing self-confidence and self-worth, fostering resilience, and developing emotional intelligence. These strategies help to create a supportive and nurturing environment for the child to thrive in and a space for parents to grow and find joy with their children.
Effective Communication:
Effective communication between parents and children is key to building a healthy and positive relationship. This means actively listening to your child, validating their feelings, and using positive language to encourage them. Effective communication helps to build trust and respect between parent and child. The goal is a mutually respectful relationship. While some parents balk at the idea of “mutual respect”, the idea is that your children participate in your family and follow family rules because they respect you and value respect for themselves rather than fear of punishment. This helps build and keep trust for tricky teenage years as well.
Set Clear Boundaries:
Positive Discipline is NOT permissive parenting. Permissive parents care deeply but don’t set or hold boundaries appropriately. Children’s brains are still developing and they NEED you to guide them. Boundaries and family rules are important for any family. Setting clear and consistent boundaries is important for your child's development and your family peace. This involves providing structure and guidance while respecting your child's autonomy and individuality. By setting clear and consistent boundaries with kindness and empathy, parents can help their children develop a sense of responsibility and accountability and reduce power struggles.
Encourage Problem-Solving:
Encouraging problem-solving skills in your child is an essential aspect of Positive Parenting. This means allowing your child to face challenges and setbacks and helping them find solutions to their problems. This approach helps to build resilience and encourages children to develop a growth mindset. #Lifeskillunlocked.
Practice Self-Care and growing as a parent
Taking care of your own physical and mental health and being aware of yourself is crucial for your ability to be present and supportive for your child. Many power struggles are the result of a parent being triggered so a key part of positive discipline is for parents to mange their own reactions and tune into themselves. That is why I saw as parents we are raising our children while also growing ourselves. Practicing self-care helps to create a positive and supportive environment for your child to thrive in. You can’t get water from an empty cup and parents need to be filled up along with their children
Positive Parenting is a powerful philosophy that can transform your relationship with your child and help you raise happier, healthier, and more well-adjusted children. Remember, Positive Parenting is a journey, but one that is well worth taking. This is a life long investment to a strong bond with your children throughout their lives.
Many people want to parent differently than they were parented. We are a generation focused on breaking parenting cycles of punishment, yelling, and power struggles while also having to often navigate that in a generation without the “village” mentality. I want to help be your village and guide you through parenting struggles.
